Estonian trans woman told she was 'brainwashed' during couples therapy session

An Estonian trans woman has spoken out about attending what she believed was couples therapy, only to find her gender identity treated as a problem to be changed. She describes being pressured to prove who she really was rather than receive genuine therapeutic support.

An Estonian trans woman has shared her experience of attending couples counselling that turned into what she describes as an attempt to convince her to change her gender identity. Rather than receiving support for her relationship, she found herself in a session where her identity as a trans woman was treated as a disorder requiring correction.

«I realised that the goal was not to improve our relationship, but to convince me otherwise,» she said, describing the moment she understood the nature of the session. She says she spent the entire appointment on the defensive, forced to justify her identity rather than address the relationship issues she had come to work through.

«I had to prove for my life who I actually am,» she said. The woman recounted being told during the session that she had been brainwashed — a claim that left her feeling invalidated and distressed rather than supported.

The experience raises broader questions about the availability of genuinely affirming mental health services for transgender people in Estonia. Advocacy groups have long warned that conversion-oriented approaches, even when not explicitly labelled as such, continue to surface in therapeutic settings across the country.

The woman's account highlights the vulnerability that transgender individuals can face when seeking professional psychological support, particularly in couples or family therapy contexts where a partner's views may shape the dynamic of the session.